Saturday, January 16, 2010

24.) Do Right

Soundtrack Song - Morningwood, Take Off Your Clothes

My side was bugging the shit out of me. It felt irritated, like sunburn—a constant burning sensation. And it was red, too, just like a burn. But I was impressed with it. I’d been playing with the idea in my head for a while, and it looked even better than I had imagined.

Kris and I caught each other’s eyes, and I could see that he was a little nervous. It's weird how the deep, heavy discussions came so naturally, but these simple moments were almost painful in their awkwardness. He's so shy sometimes—not afraid to broach the painful subjects, of course, but he was no expert on the lighter topics. He pursed his lips before he said, “So, did it hurt?”

“Yeah,” I replied with a smile. “Of course it did. But it wasn’t as bad as I thought.” I bit my lip, feeling exposed and wishing that I could read Kris a little better to know what he was thinking. I knew what I was thinking, and let's just say that I was very glad that I had coincidentally worn the bra I had stolen from Vicky's over the summer. Only one way to find out. “Do you have any? Can I see 'em?”

He reddened instantly and looked away. “Uh, no. Don’t have any.”

“You’re one of those ‘my body is a temple’ people, aren’t you? Eat healthy, no drugs or alcohol, no foreign objects in your body? Am I right?”

“Well, I’m a professional athlete, so I have to take care of myself.”

I turned so I was no longer looking at him through the mirror. “I’m sure you do.” Taking a step closer to him, I hooked my arms over his shoulders and laced my fingers through his long hair. Then I lowered my voice. “Why don’t you show me?” Before he could answer, I pulled his face down to mine so I could kiss him.

This wasn’t one of the sweet lip locks that we had exchanged earlier. I tried to manifest all my emotions and desires in this one gesture, pulling his lip into my mouth and biting down on it softly. His hands moved to my hips, and I felt his tongue slip into my mouth.

Reacting purely on instinct, I let slip a little moan as I fumbled with the large, black buttons of his coat. Once that was done, I pushed the jacket off his shoulders, and he let go of me just long enough to allow the material to fall away from him. Then Kris put his hands back on me, on the bare flesh of my sides—and my fresh tattoo.

I jumped and hissed from the jolt of pain. “Shit, Jo, I’m sorry,” he mumbled, retracting his hand like he had just touched a hot burner of a stove.

“It’s okay,” I told him encouragingly, doing my best to put the pain out of my mind and focus back on Kris and his body. Because that would make me feel a lot better. Despite the pain on my left side, I was on fire from his touch on my right side. Just like Kris could irritate and turn me on at the same time, my body was physically reacting to him in two entirely different ways. I tried to kiss him again, but he turned his face away. “I’m telling you, it’s okay.”

“No. Maybe we should stop.”

“Stop? We hardly even started,” I retorted, reaching under his shirt and feeling his abdominal muscles. It was like a transdermal drug; as soon as I touched mere inches of his skin, I wanted to—no, I needed—to touch more. Ugh, who was I kidding? I wanted to lick him from head to toe.

“Jo,” he whispered, grabbing my hand gently and stilling it.

Turned down. I hated this stinging feeling of rejection. I was kicking myself, because I really had convinced myself that he liked me. He told me that he liked me. “Okay. Fine.” I picked up his jacket from the floor and threw it at him. I was hurt and angry. “Get out.”

“Wait a second—”

“No, Kris. Get the fuck out. You don’t want me, fine. Then leave.”

“I don’t not want you, Jo. I just....” He exhaled deeply. “Don’t you think it’s too soon?”

I snorted. “No. I want you. It sounds like you want me. So what's the problem?”

“I just think we should wait. I want it to be special, and I want it to mean something.” Kris took a hold of my hands in one of his, and he pressed the other against my cheek to turn my face to look at him. “Don't you want it to mean something?”

I jerked my head away and out of his cupped hand, and then I crossed my arms over my chest—half in anger, half to feebly cover myself. Standing in lace was only making me feel more vulnerable and hurt. “Way to make me feel like a whore, Mr. Sensitive.”

“You know I didn't mean it like that, Jo. I’m not attacking you,” he said, taking a step back like he could physically feel the vibes I was sending in his direction. Kris reached for my shirt on the bed and handed it to me. “Relationships are built around trust and common ground—which come with time.”

“You sound like a fucking E-Harmony commercial,” I mumbled, feeling irritated.

“I just think we should wait until we get to know each other better.”

“What else is there to know about me? You know my entire life story. You know things about me that I don’t talk about, that I don’t talk about to people who don’t know,” I spat back, raising my voice a little more with each sentence as I threw the shirt over my head to cover up. “That line is fucking bullshit, and you know it.”

“I know your circumstances,” he replied, sounding calm and cool. “I know your life, up until this point. But that doesn’t mean that I know you yet. I don’t know your middle name. I don’t know your favorite movie or favorite color or what kind of music you listen to or what your hobbies are. I’m not even sure what the natural color of your hair is. We haven’t even been on an honest-to-goodness date!”

I sighed and grunted at the same time, emitting a strange sound. “What does that matter? You know about my brother and my family. You know where I went to school and what my extracurricular activities were. You know where I was going to go to college and what I was going to major in. What I wanted to be. And you know that I’m trying really hard to figure out my future while not completely sacrificing the present. So you go ahead and keep telling yourself that you don’t know me that well.”

Plopping down on the bed, I thought that if I ignored him, he’d go away; I’d poked so many holes in his argument that he’d have to leave in shame. Alas, that was not the case. Instead, he took what was quickly becoming his usual position—sitting beside me and comforting me with his hand on my back, rubbing circles along my spine. However, Kris’s hand on my body was having quite the opposite effect.

“I’m sorry, Jo. You probably think that this is weird. That I’m weird, because I’m not acting like a typical guy—”

“Just stop trying to redeem yourself or make me feel better. It’s not working.”

“Will you just hear me out? You’re not listening!”

“Fine. Talk,” I commanded, turning to face him, impatiently waiting for whatever it is he wanted to say. I was mad and upset and really close to frustrated tears; seems like I was always crying around Kris.

“It’s just the kind of person that I am. I think that the relationships we form with other people are important and meaningful. Family, teammates, friends.... If life can be so short, then we need to make every minute worth our while. And that’s not through random hook-ups. I don’t just hook up.”

“Still making me feel kinda slutty.”

He ran his free hand over his face. “You really are a unique person, do you know that? I’m telling you that it’s because I like you that I want to take things slow. That I want to do things right. And you’re finding offense in that.”

“Because I live in the moment. If there’s something worth doing, then you’d better do it now. If you plan on waiting for the right time, then you’re going to be waiting for a long time. The perfect moment is now because you can’t guarantee you’ll be here when that ‘right’ moment rolls around.”

“I don’t like when you talk that way,” Kris mumbled.

“Can you deny that I’m right?”

He spoke slowly and carefully. “If we make wise, informed decisions, then we can—”

I didn’t mean to instigate a heated discussion, but I lashed out. “And what ‘wise, informed decisions’ do you make on a regular basis? Like you lead a safe life, Kristopher Letang. I’m not even going to talk about that you play hockey and could get hurt. But you’re on the road for how many months out of the year? How many hours do you spend on a plane, hmm? Every time you set foot on one, you run the risk of crashing. But do you ever think of that?”

“It’s safe enough. They wouldn’t put everyone, the players and coaches and media, on a plane if it was that dangerous. More people die in car crashes—motorcycle crashes—than plane crashes every year.”

“Damn it, you don’t get to make up the rules as you go along! A crash is a crash. At least on the road, I’ve got control of my bike. When you fly, you’re just a passenger. And I’m not saying that you’ve got to give it up, because I would never, ever tell you to give up something that you love, but I’m making you aware that you’re being a complete and total hypocrite.”

He pulled away and spoke again, sounding resigned. “You’re entitled to your opinion, I suppose.”

“Don’t pull that shit on me,” I argued, not ready to give in yet. “You’ve commented on how I live my life, but as soon as the tables are turned, you won’t even stick up for yourself.”

“Why bother? You’re mad at me because I don’t want to take that step yet, and now you want to pick a fight. Because you won’t allow for anyone else to a differing viewpoint.”

“No! I don’t care if you don’t agree with me. But when it affects me, then yeah, I get upset. So sue me.”

“It does affect you, Jo. That’s why I want to do it right—I want to do right by you. And it affects me, too. So this isn’t all about you, okay? I’m involved, too. My feelings are on the line, too.”

I crossed my arms around my stomach and leaned forward, closing my eyes and thinking. I wasn’t used to a guy who cared about waiting, especially when I made my intentions clear. If you even looked a guy the right way, he’d be ready to find the nearest bedroom or closet or backseat in seconds flat.

So this was definitely not what I was used to. The roles were reversed here, with Kris playing the sensitive soul and me as the impatient, anxious one. Why was I falling for the one guy that was the exact opposite of my usual? But, if this was indeed a relationship, then he was absolutely right—it wasn’t just about me. I had to take his emotions into account. I had to delay my own gratification to ensure his. I sighed. “Fine. We’ll wait.” Then I stood and looked down at him as he remained sitting on my bed. “You’d better be worth it.”

Kris smiled up at me with his dark eyes, through the dark hair falling into his face. He grabbed onto my legs and pulled me toward him; I slipped and fell against him, and we tumbled to the bed. We both laughed a tiny bit, and I adjusted my body so I was lying on my right side.

“I promise you, Jo, it will be worth it. When the time is right,” he assured me, threading his fingers through my hair and leaning in for a kiss.

I had to end it quickly. I couldn’t believe that we were lying in my bed and restricted only to kissing. “I’m feeling kind of tired now.”

“Are you kicking me out again?” he asked, a smile now playing on his lips as he wrapped his arms around me and I nestled against his broad chest.

“I’m merely informing you that I’m going to go to bed now, and that you can leave if you want.”

“And if I don’t want to?”

At those words, I looked back up into his face, a little shocked. He was talking about spending the night, but nothing was going to happen. Yeah, this was definitely a new experience for me. But I felt so comfortable in his arms that I almost didn’t mind that this was all we would be doing. “Then you can stay.”

With another quick kiss, he stood and flicked off the light before pulling off his shirt and crawling back into bed beside me. I discarded my pants and bra and snuggled back into his arms, letting him envelope me. We had each stripped ourselves of some of our clothing, yet none of our bare skin was touching.

“Good night, Joanna,” he whispered.

I was too tired to correct him. “G’night, Kris,” I replied back. Even though I was exhausted, Kris fell asleep before me.

8 comments:

  1. Favorite line of this chapter: " ugg who was I kidding. I wanted to lick him from head to toe." All I can say to that is Amen sister.lol

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  2. If I were Jo I'd be mad too that Kris wanted to wait to do the dirty dirty. Le Swoon is just sooo irresisitable.

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  3. In a relationship with Kris, I would definitely take on the role of the male. I'd definitely be more like Jo. :)

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  4. Soooooooooooo frigging cute!!
    When she was wanting him...UGH..I just wanted to take a bite out of him..or well something of that sort!
    Guys like this Kris..TOUGH to come by..
    Great update!

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  5. *Le Sigh* Melt, melt, melt, melt. He's so damn cute! I don't think I can take it!<3 I'd be a little thrown off too if Kris told me that he wanted to wait, but for a prize like that, hell yeah I'd wait a lifetime ;P

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  6. Ok I know that everyone is all like 'Oh Kris... what a sweet guy...'
    I would have honestly made him leave, and never saw him again.

    Maybe I just take it a different way, but no matter how sweet/sensitive/noble he was being, I don't think I could get rejected like that and then just... continue to hang out with him.

    I seriously want to shake him and tell him he's being dumb. I can get where he's coming from but really... even if they do hook up now, I'm going to remember this post and it'll totaly kill the mood lol.

    "as soon as I touched mere inches of his skin, I wanted to—no, I needed—to touch more. Ugh, who was I kidding? I wanted to lick him from head to toe."
    ^^ haha ok, I needed to add this quote because it was just funny.

    “I just think we should wait. I want it to be special, and I want it to mean something.”
    ^^ Also, maybe it's cause I've never had a random hook-up but... of course it would mean something! Even if he took her down on the bathroom floor it would still mean something to them.
    Jo's let him in closer than anyone else that wasn't in the 'need-to-know' category like Tubby.
    If Kris doesn't view that as being good enough for it to mean something, then wth does he want? Seriously?

    I honest-to-god love Jo, I think she might be my most favourtie character that you've ever made... but I honestly wanna shoot a spit ball at Kris right now lol.

    Only you can make me this emotional over an update haha. So, even though I'm annoyed at him, it was still fantastic and wonderful and I can't wait for the next one!

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  7. I like the role reversal, because what Jo thought was true - usually it takes almost nothing but a look for a guy to get all over a girl...and to meet a guy like that is really, really rare! I liked this chapter a lot!

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