Tuesday, January 26, 2010

30.) Words, Words, Words

Soundtrack Song - Hoobastank, The Reason

I know that I read somewhere that there’s some kind of physical, chemical reason that men fall asleep after sex. I’m not sure if I buy into that, but I didn’t mind lying in Kris’s tight embrace as he slept heavily next to me. Once we’d finished—or, rather, when I had finished with him—I had untied him, and we curled up together. Our skin was clammy and sweaty, and it wasn’t exactly comfortable as he exhaled hot breath on my neck, but I wouldn’t have changed positions for anything.

For twenty minutes, I tried to fall asleep, too. It’s not like I wasn’t tired; I definitely had gotten a workout. But I couldn’t sleep, so instead I lay beside him and listened to his rhythmic breathing and felt the steady rising and falling of his chest.

My stomach rumbled, and I checked the clock. It was six in the evening, and I was starving. For a split second, I thought about leaving. After all, I had spent the entire afternoon with him. However, I didn’t want to go. It would have been rude, of course, but I also had really missed him when he was out on the road. We shared this closeness that I just couldn’t define, and even though we had spoken on the phone while he was away, it wasn’t the same as being in the same vicinity as him.

I slowly and gently slid out of his arms, being careful not to disturb him. He looked so... angelic as he slept; that’s the only way I could think of to describe him. His hair fell onto his forehead, pushed to the side, and his lips were slightly parted. I dressed in Kris’s sweats and shirt, as just another way to be close to him. I smelled like him, and wearing his clothes was like having him near me at all times.

Then I headed into the kitchen. I opened the bag on the counter, looking to see what Kris had ordered for lunch and hoping that it would still be good after sitting on the counter all afternoon. I pulled out a container, noting that it was the same thing he had ordered that day when we went to the deli for lunch. That day we ate out and he told me about Luc and I told him about James. Talk about a creature of habit. I opened the bag of sour cream and onion chips and munched on one.

My phone beeped from the other room, so I found it in my jacket pocket and flipped it open. Two missed calls and a text message, all three from Tubby. I checked the message, which simply read: So?

I laughed and called him back. He picked up on the second ring. “What’s up, girl?”

“‘So’ what?”

“Your boy toy. He okay?”

“Yeah, he’s gonna be fine,” I told him, knowing that there still probably would be some difficult times ahead for him, as he was forced to sit out a few games.

“That’s good. I know you were worried.”

“Yeah, I was,” I told him, suddenly feeling a pair of arms wrap around my middle. I leaned back against Kris’s bare chest, rolling my shoulders and allowing him to envelop me. “But everything’s good now. I’ll talk to you later.” I quickly hung up the phone so I could feel his strong arms on me. “Up already, sleepyhead? I figured you’d be out for a while.”

“You wore me out,” he replied. I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke into my ear. “I was wondering where you’d gone off to.”

“I got hungry. I guess I worked up an appetite.”

“I bet you did.” Kris cleared his throat, and it gave me reason to look up at him. “Listen, Jo, that was... great. I mean it—I don’t want you to think I didn’t like it. But I’m not usually like that.”

I giggled at his timidity and kissed the underside of his jaw, which was mildly scruffy with a five o’clock shadow. It was adorable, how shy he was about it now; he definitely wasn’t shy a few hours ago. “That was the point, Kris. I wanted you to let go of your sense of duty and responsibility, and just have a little bit of fun. Get a little wild. Don’t worry. If it makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to do it again. Your way’s fun, too.”

He chuckled. “Well, I wouldn’t say never again.” He reached around me, grabbing a chip from the bag on the counter. “Who were you talking to?”

“Tubby,” I said nonchalantly. He grunted, and I looked back up at him, unsure what he meant by that. “Problem with that?”

“No.”

“Then what’s with the sudden attitude?”

“Well, you don’t want girls calling me. But your best friend is a guy.”

“Tubby and I are friends, Kris. You know that. You knew that from the start. And if this is because of what I said earlier, you have to understand where I’m coming from. Some girl I’ve never heard of calling you, when we were in the middle of something?”

“I remember telling you to ignore it. You’re the one who jumped to conclusions like you don’t trust me.”

I scowled and tried to pull out of Kris’s arms, but he held onto me. I couldn’t believe he was going to do this now. “If you’re just gonna be a jerk, then let go.”

“Stop it,” he replied, firmly but kindly. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad.”

I took advantage of knowing that he wasn’t at full strength and twisted until he couldn’t hold on with his bad arm. “Well, you’re either calling me jealous again, or you’re questioning my friendship with Tubby—and I don’t like that any better.”

Kris let go, but he placed his arms against the counter so I was still stuck in front of him, facing his direction. I didn’t immediately look him in the eyes. “If you say you’re just friends with him, then you’re just friends—”

That’s when my head snapped up and I glared at him. “I don’t like what you’re implying by saying it that way. Like you can’t take whatever I say to you at face value. Like I’m gonna lie to you.”

“That’s not what I meant! Stop trying to pick a fight here.”

“I’m not trying to pick a fight,” I barked, crossing my arms in front of me. “You’re the one who copped an attitude. You give one to me, and I’ll give it right back.”

“Jo, will you just stop it? I’m not, ugh, I didn’t mean anything by it. Except that it’s not fair for you to comment about who calls me.”

I pursed my lips and glanced over his shoulder. “I don’t care who calls you.”

Kris let out a deep breath and took a couple steps back. He wiped his hands over his face and then through his hair. “I don’t cheat on my girlfriends, Jo. I’m not talking to other girls, if that’s what you were worried about. You know, I thought we were ready for this. I guess I was wrong. But I thought that we could have a go at a real, honest relationship.”

“Honest? I’ve been honest from the start. You’re the one who’s calling into question my integrity. I don’t cheat, either. And Tubby and I have never been anything more than the closest, best of friends. Have I ever given you any reason to doubt anything I’ve said?”

“No. And I’m not questioning you.”

“Then what do you want me to do, huh? Because when I tell you I don’t like girls calling you, you get all mad because you think I don’t trust you. Then when I tell you I don’t give a fuck, you get all mad because you think I was a mistake. You can’t have it both ways, Kris.”

When he didn’t say anything back, I headed for his bedroom. I was pissed. Emotions had been running high ever since I showed up, so maybe I had overreacted. But Kris didn’t have the right to mock me and call me jealous if he was going to turn around and pull the same shit on me.

I didn’t think I was wrong. Okay, so being a bitch to Charlene without hearing the whole story was probably not the smartest thing to do, but Kris had never mentioned her. I had no problem with them staying in contact—they would always be bound together by Luc. As far as I was concerned, they needed each other, and I would never tell him they couldn’t talk to each other. And I didn’t not trust him; he was, as far as I was concerned, a stand-up kind of guy. Maybe it was because I had been so worried about losing him that I had dug my claws into him without being consciously aware of it. But I had no intentions of sharing him, especially after our rolls around in the sack.

I threw off his clothes and began searching for mine. “What are you doing?” he asked. I hadn’t even heard him follow me.

“Duh. What does it look like? I’m getting dressed.”

“You’re just going to leave?”

“You’re mad at me. I don’t have a reason to stay.”

I’m mad at you? You’re the one who’s leaving.”

“You don’t want me to go?”

“I don’t want you to leave here mad at me for some damn reason that I don’t even understand.”

“What do you want from me?” I stepped into my panties and spotted my bra on the edge of the bed. I reached for it, but Kris scooped it up and refused to hand it to me. “Come on.”

“I’m a faithful guy. And I don’t just pass around my phone number to girls. Didn’t you know that?” I vaguely recalled when he handed me his number. It seemed like eons ago, but he did seem reluctant to give his phone number out to me. I sighed. “So if someone’s calling me, if a girl’s calling me, it’s for a reason. Okay?”

“Okay,” I mumbled, knowing he was right. But I still didn’t like the idea of someone of the female persuasion calling him, for whatever reason.

“So no flipping out on me, okay?”

This time, I said it a little louder. “Okay.” Then I added my own two cents. “And you don’t get to give me shit about being friends with Tubby. He’s been with me through everything. He’s my best friend. If you can’t deal with my male friend, then you can’t deal with me. Got it?”

He nodded. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just trying to prove my point.”

“Good. Now, can I have my bra back?”

Kris smirked. “Are you sure you want to put it on? It looks uncomfortable.”

“Yeah. I should go,” I told him, smiling sadly. I wasn’t in the mood to stay. Nothing like getting your faults rubbed into your face to ruin the mood. Even though I know he didn’t mean to do it, it still hurt. I’m not a perfect person, but that doesn’t mean I like to be made aware of that.

“I thought you said you were hungry. Why don’t you stay and eat dinner with me?” I thought about it for a second, wanting to stay because I wanted to be around Kris, but also wanting to escape, too. I was ready to go home, wallow and throw myself a pity party for being such a jerk, and smoke a bowl to help myself forget about it. “Come on, Jo. Don’t stay mad. We talked about it, we figured it out. It’s over now.”

“Anger doesn’t just go away, Kris. You don’t wave a magic wand and things are back to how they were. I felt like you accused me of something, and even though I know you didn’t mean it, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it still fucking hurts.”

He stepped farther into the room. “What did you tell me? That you can’t change it, so don’t let it change you. You know I didn’t mean anything by it. I like you. I wouldn’t do that.” The back of his fingers brushed my cheek.

I whispered, “I know.” I closed my eyes. “And I don’t want to make you mad at me. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not mad. You’re kind of cute when you’re jealous.” I immediately pouted, and he laughed and pressed his lips against mine. He returned my bra. “Come on. Let’s just eat.”

Reluctantly, I dressed and followed him into the living room, where he’d placed two plates on the coffee table for us. We ate in silence and watched television. This certainly wasn’t I had in mind for my evening plans, but then again, today definitely didn’t go the way I thought it would.

I ate what I was hungry for, and Kris finished the rest. I leaned against the back of the couch, feeling tired and emotionally drained. He sighed and lay down, dropping his head up in my lap with his injured shoulder propped up against my stomach. Kris looked up at me and smiled, and I couldn’t stop my hand from reaching out to run my fingers through his hair. He sighed again and turned toward the television. Instead of paying attention to whatever show he was watching, I focused on the way his hair layered as I combed it and tried to block out any other thoughts.

10 comments:

  1. Awww ok... so I was annoyed during this, and then happy at the end.

    I mean, I see Kris's point of view, and Jo's as well, and I think they both have valid points... but I still don't like to see them fight.

    I'm glad that Kris didn't let her leave angry... and I loved the ending.
    Just sitting there, his head in her lap, relaxing.
    It was a nice update to read, and I'm really happy that you ended it in a good spot (this way I'm only like 99% anxious for the next post now LOL).

    And the writing was so great, every detail... it flowed so well it flew by! Loved it!

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  2. i feel like even thought Jo says she's still mad, and yeah, she has every right to be, it'll all work out in the end. like, HOW can you stay mad at kris?! you just can't =]

    and the ending was cute. oh man, what'd i'd give eto run my hands through his hair!!

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  3. Hahaha... I've had that fight... it's a harsh one.

    But I felt like as much as it was over, it's not... I think the next chapter could be interesting...

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  4. Mr.Letang can lay on my lap any day : )
    Great update..I loved the fight..don't we all have that one at some point or another?

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  5. Kris is just too damn cute. And them being all jealous and not knowing where they stand with each other exactly is also adorable.

    Can I have my very own Kris? With a bow?

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  6. Ah the fight. it's a fight to be had too, I was wondering if that would happen. It's good they got it out of the way though, and that she didn't leave.

    Yay, this makes me happy.

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  7. Ugh, these kids! It just wouldn't be the same if there wasn't a fight, right? :P

    The ending of this made me happy happy happy! If Kris was my man, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands out of his hair either hahaha

    Great update<3

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  8. *Sigh*...fab update...*sigh*

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  9. where areeee youuu!!
    i need to know what's gonna happen! ahahaha

    no pressure.

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  10. You haven't updated in awhile. I hope your ok!!

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