Wednesday, February 3, 2010

32.) Never Have I Ever

Soundtrack Song - Ke$ha, Tik Tok

I stood in front of my closet, trying to pick out something to wear. I’m not a shallow girl, or vain, but I did want to look good. Not only was I going to be around Kris’s teammates, but I had to make a good impression on their girlfriends now, too—for Kris’s sake. He had made a valid point when he said that I couldn’t avoid them forever; and while I didn’t need to be besties with any of them, I didn’t have to make the situation worse by actively giving them a reason to not like me.

My biggest problem was picking out what to wear. When you’re around guys, it’s easy to dress to impress—show off the goods, and you’re good to go. But with chicks, there’s a fine line between “cute” and “slutty.” I wanted to look good for Kris and have his teammates approve, without garnering any negativity from the girls.

The whole problem here was that I knew what jocks are like; most of all, however, I know what puck bunnies are like. I hung out with James and his team, so jersey-chasers are nothing new to me. And I am not one of them, and there’s no way I’m going to fit in with them. Sure, not all of them were bound to be like that, but there were at least two the last time I checked.

In the end, I settled on a short, denim skirt and a black tank top. I knew it would get hot in the club, so I didn’t want to overdress. The weather was still mild for November, so I would be okay. It was already quarter after nine, so I hurried up and smoked a bowl before Kris planned on showing up. I didn’t think he’d be too happy if I was doing it when he showed up. So I smoked and then brushed my teeth, sprayed myself with perfume, and used the Visine to cover up the smell.

Kris called a few minutes later, letting me know that he was going to pick up some of the guys and then get me last. With the extra time, I decided to pregame. I knew that Kris would pay my tab, but I wouldn’t ask that of him; he didn’t drink, so I wasn’t going to make him buy alcohol for me. I also didn’t have a lot of cash. Besides, having a few drinks at home before hitting the town makes for a cheaper night.

I kept my eye on the street in front of my house, so when Kris pulled up to the curb, I was heading out the door. He got out to meet me and grabbed my hand, leaning down to kiss my cheek. Teasingly, he said, “You make it hard to be a gentleman and come to your door.”

“It’s a waste of time for you to park and walk to my door. This is easier,” I replied, tugging on his hand and planting my feet in the walkway. He looked back, confused why I wasn’t following him. I joked with him right back. “That’s not the proper way to greet me.”

He rolled his eyes slightly but turned back to me and performed his boyfriendly duty, brushing his lips against mine. I knew that he didn’t want this kiss to get too involved, what with his noisy teammates in the car a few yards away, but I couldn’t help myself. He looked so good—and hell, I wanted to—so I swiped my tongue across his lips. “That is how you’re supposed to greet me,” I told him.

“Have you been drinking already?” he asked quietly.

“Um, yes. Saves money. You see, I’m being thrifty. Please remember,” I added, knowing that I didn’t want either of us to pick a fight, “that tonight’s about having fun. We’re only allowed to have fun. K?”

“Okay,” he answered, not really looking at me but sounding cheerful. He led me to the car. “Get ready to have a good time, then.”

I really did just want to enjoy myself tonight. The morning had been such a pain at CMU: all those dirty, judging looks; being talked down to like I was retarded; and their haughty attitudes. It made me wonder why I was going back to school in the first place. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to deal with all this bullshit again. Sure, the classes would be fun, and I would find the subject matter fascinating, but the social politics are ridiculous.

When we got to the car, I knocked on the window of the passenger side door. “Ever heard of chivalry, buddy?”

He pointed to the back seat and responded, “Jo, it’s nice to meet you and all. But I called shot gun! I’m not giving up the front seat just because you’re making out with the driver. That’s not how ‘shot gun’ works.”

“You must be Max,” I laughed, recognizing his voice from talking on the phone with him hours ago. Even though I didn’t really know him, I knew that I knew him. Typical fun-loving jock. “It’s lovely to meet you.” I opened up the door to the back seat and stared at the two big bodies in the back. “So, scoot over!”

They each looked at each other and then at the small area of seat between them. I knew exactly what they were thinking—that they didn’t want to be smashed up against another dude. “No way. You’re in the middle.”

“Then get out,” I told him, remembering his face but not his name. At first, he didn’t move. “I’m in a skirt! At least let me be ladylike about this.”

He slid out and I jumped in, soon sandwiched between them. I wouldn’t usually complain about having to sit so close to two good-smelling guys, but there was no personal space.

“Jo, this is Max up here in the front, and that’s Alex on your right and Ben on your left.”

Max spoke up. “Lovejoy’s on a call-up from the farm team. We’re taking him out on the town. Breakin’ him in.”

“Making you pay?” I chuckled and asked the goofy-looking kid beside me, translating Max’s comment. It was just like hazing in high school.

“Only the first round,” he replied with a slight smile. “I’m still on my American League pay check. No way can I afford the bar tab of these guys.”

I looked up at Kris, who made eye contact with me through the rearview mirror. “We’re meeting a lot more people there.” I nodded, and luckily Max insisted on playing the music so loudly that none of us could carry on a conversation.

Kris parked, and we all headed for the club. He took my hand in his as we walked down the street; as we got closer to the door, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. He was doing it so we would be ushered in without question—so I wouldn’t be IDed. I had my fake with me, just in case. And it turned out I needed it.

The bouncer waved his hands at Max and Alex. He looked curiously at Ben, but judged that he was old enough and with our group. Then the burly man in the black shirt waved as he looked at Kris... but held out his hand to stop us when his line of sight fell on me.

I played the part of irritated patron, fishing my card out of my pocket and holding it out to him. Then I cocked an eyebrow and tilted my head to the side. He looked at me and then at the picture on my phony ID, before once again looking up at me.

“I dyed it,” I stated, curling a lock of hair around my finger.

He looked down again at the card in his hand. For a split second, I thought for sure that he was going to turn me away—however, he returned my ID and waved us into the bar. I let out the breath I had been holding, now confident and ready to get my drink on.

“I was so nervous,” Kris whispered to me as we caught up to the rest of the guys. “I thought for sure he wasn’t going to let you in.”

“It’s all about swagger,” I told him, slinging my arm around his waist and stuffing my hand in the back pocket of his jeans. He jumped as I squeezed. “Where’s Benny? It’s time for first round!” I yelled.

Everyone was gathered around the bar, shots of Jameson Irish whiskey being poured into dozen of tiny plastic cups. Lights were flashing different colors and music was pumping through the speakers, the bass vibrating through my chest. The place was pretty empty, but it was almost eleven on a Wednesday night—not exactly prime clubbing time. That was fine with me, though; I was here to hang out with my boyfriend, his friends, and their girlfriends.

Jordan and Ben passed around the shots, making sure everyone had one. Kris and one of the girls hung back, not drinking with the rest of us. I caught his eye and smiled at him before I turned back to the little circle of people and raised my cup.

Max whacked Ben on the shoulder and toasted, “To Lovejoy! May he not turn over the puck tomorrow and stay up with the big club, so he can buy drinks tomorrow after the win!”

We laughed and each knocked back the shot. I felt the alcohol burn its way down my esophagus and into my stomach. I held up my hand and tried to flag down the bartender for a beer or drink to chase the burn. Pulling a twenty out of my pocket, I waved it in the air, hoping to get his attention.

“Put that away. Your money’s no good here,” Max said, stepping beside me on one side, Jordan and Tyler on the other. He nodded, and the bartender was immediately in front of us. “What are you drinking, Jo? Fuzzy navel? Sex on the beach? Screaming orgasms?”

“Jim Bean and Pepsi,” I told the bartender. To prove my point, that I wasn’t into girly drinks (and let’s face it, because I wasn’t paying for it), I added, “And another shot of Jameson.”

“Whoa,” Jordan laughed. “We’ve got all night.”

“And I’m just getting started,” I informed him.

“Better slow down,” Max said, throwing in his two cents. “I don’t want Tanger to come over here and yell at me for getting you drunk.”

“Oh please.” I rolled my eyes but smiled. “I could drink you under the table.”

“Oh yeah?”


“I take that as a challenge.” When the bartender returned, Max told him, “Leave the bottle.”

“I can’t drink all that,” I told him, eying the practically full bottle.

“And you won’t be,” he laughed. “We’re going to see if you can keep up with us.” Max poured a shot for all four of us, and we toasted silently and poured the liquid down our throats. Talk about team bonding.

I sipped my mixed drink and waited for him to pour another round. “Well, what are you waiting for?”

“What do you say we make this more interesting? Drinking game?”

“Never Have I Ever?” I asked, and the guys nodded. “Good. I go first. Never have I ever... scored an NHL goal.” They all smirked and drank, and I felt smug.

“We’ll play this game,” Jordan countered. “Never have I ever... fucked Kris Letang.”

I shook my head, knowing that I should have been able to see that coming. I drank. Then Tyler said, “Never have I ever... worn a skirt.”

I drank.

It was Max’s turn. “Never have I ever... sucked a dick.”

I drank. My stomach already started to churn from all this liquid. “Okay. You guys are being unfair. And crude. But I guess I’m playing by your rules. Never have I ever... fingered a girl.”

Tyler and Jordan drank, but Max didn’t. I nudged him. “Dude, are you serious? Never?”

“Did I drink? Obviously. Never.”

“That’s fucked up,” I told him, shaking my head. “Guys like you are disgusting. It’s all about getting your rocks off, but you don’t do anything to take care of the female.”

“Hey hey hey,” he roared, laughing with all the rest of the guys. “I never said that I didn’t take care of the ladies. Believe me, no girl has ever walked away from the Superstar unsatisfied.”

I laughed so hard that I snorted. Snorting made me laugh even harder. I clutched my sides. “Did you really just say that?” I wasn’t sure what was more hilarious: the fact that he just called himself Superstar or that he honestly believed that he was God’s gift to women.

“Are you doubting my manhood?”

That made me laugh even harder. I lost it, my face turning red from lack of oxygen as I gasped for air. The other guys didn’t find this nearly as funny as I did. Then I felt a hand around my waist. “Geez, Jo. Are you okay?”

I nodded, unable to speak for a moment. Collecting myself, I told Kris, “Your friends are hilarious.”

Kris suggested, “Why don’t we go sit down?”

I nodded, allowing his strong arm to turn me away from the bar as I grabbed my mixed drink. “Hey,” Jordan interrupted. “We didn’t finish our round of ‘Never Have I Ever.’”

“They’re cheating,” I informed Kris. “They did, like, less than me. Cheaters.” I let him guide me to a soft, plush thing that looked like a bench but had no back. We sat down and leaned back against the wall. My drink spilled, and Kris took it and set it down on the table beside him. I threw one of my legs over his and leaned close to his face so he could hear me over the music. “I like your friends.”

“I think they like you, too,” he replied, shifting uncomfortably.

“Where are the girls? Do you want me to go talk to them?”

Kris shook his head. “They’re out dancing. Let’s just sit here for a while.”

“Mmkay.” I ran my hand through his hair by his ear. “Why is your hair so soft, Kristopher? ‘Snot fair. The girl should have better hair than the girl. I mean, the guy. The girl should have better hair than the guy.”

“Maybe if you didn’t dye it,” he said, and I pulled back to look up at him. “I’m just saying that dyes have chemicals in them. Fries it.”

“Oh,” I whispered, leaning back against his shoulder and looking out at the group of girls dancing in the middle of the floor.


  1. For some reason I;m really scared to read the next chapter. I hope Jo doesn't do anything stupid....

    Great update though! I love Jo and Maxs' conversations lol

  2. I sooo agree with Anna, but I sooo look forward to the next one, too. Great post!!!


  3. Amen to social politics being rediculous especially at schools.

    I really hope Jo doesn't make an ass out of herself. But, she is just having fun.

    Gah, excited to see what is going to happen next! Great update!

  4. I hope she pukes on Chris' girlfriend!

    Also, super glad that she's getting along good with the guys... but now... the girls... dun dun dun.

    Unless she gets so drunk that Kris just takes her home and they have sex... cause that'd work out better probably =P just sayin!

    There were a lot of really great lines in this one... but my two faves:

    “Have you been drinking already?” he asked quietly.
    “Um, yes. Saves money. You see, I’m being thrifty."
    ^^ bahahaha yes! I use to be thrifty like that two... it didn't actually work out the best but... made for some interesting nights!

    “To Lovejoy! May he not turn over the puck tomorrow and stay up with the big club, so he can buy drinks tomorrow after the win!”
    ^^ Amen! I'll drink to that... poor, poor Lovejoy... lol

    Yay for ID! I know you said you weren't a fan of this one... but it made me laugh and smile... and then get worried... I'm still worried so...

    on edge till the next one! (*fingers crossed* it doesn't get too sloppy)

  5. i realllly hope she doesn't do something stupiddd

    im kinda nervous for her alreaddyyyy :O

  6. The ending of this was kinda sorta like a cliffhanger ultimately making me ridiculously nervous for the next chapter hahaha. I really hope things don't get too crazy.

    I love that Jo fits in so well with the guys. And they all crack me up. Poor Ben getting stuck with the tab but he had to have expected it :P

    "Believe me, no girl has ever walked away from the Superstar unsatisfied.”
    ^^Max still continues to make my life in every single story. You never know what to expect with him!

  7. NO you can't stop there! : (
    I have a feeling this is just going to get more interesting!
    They just got there..and she's trashed. Oh lordy!

  8. So she might want to smoke her bowl before she showers and dresses. I have found that's alot easier to smell on someone than alcohol. Plus I think Kris would FREAK out about that.
    I don't see this night turning out very well. She's already drunk. She was the only girl doing shots with the boys. Girlfriends don't always appreciate the girl whose hanging with the guys.
    I think Zigh is right they should just go home and have sex. It seems to be the only time they aren't fighting.
    As usual great update, thanks!

  9. I am very nervous to see how this evening goes, lol!