Thursday, February 18, 2010

42.) Not Pink, Not Black

Soundtrack Song - Company of Thieves, Oscar Wilde

I loved waking up next to Kris. This had been the first time we’d spent the whole night together, after sex, waking up beside each other. Well, Kris wasn’t awake yet.

I liked being able to look at him. Watch him. Maybe it seems kind of creepy, but I liked being able to take in the sight of him without worrying about him catching me as I stared at him. I noted the pock mark above his left eye, which he probably got from having the chicken pox as a kid. Very softly, so I wouldn't disturb him, I kissed that small scar. He had dark, thick eyelashes that I would kill for. His nose was so cute. I’d call it a button nose; I’m not sure if that would be an accurate description, but that’s how I would label it. I kissed the tip of that nose, too.

His eyes were flitting back and forth underneath his eyelids. Kris was dreaming, and I wondered about what.

Then I pulled back the sheet and pushed myself up on my elbows. He was hirsute; his limbs were covered with dark, course hair. I especially liked his happy trail, which started just below his navel and continued down. My fingers traced the path firmly yet lightly, so I wouldn’t rouse him from his slumber. He moved: his head turned a little to the side and his lips parted, but he didn’t open his eyes.

Sliding down the mattress, I moved between his legs and completely pushed aside the covers. Normally, I wasn’t a big fan of giving head. It was something I always did because I felt like I should—but I legitimately wanted to do it for Kris. Now, if that’s not true love... I don’t know what is.

I took the head of limp dick into my mouth, being careful to watch his face as I felt his body react and as he began to harden. I wondered how long I could do this without him waking up. Even more, I wondered if his dream had changed, and if he were dreaming about me.

His breathing quickened, his chest rising and falling at an increasing rate. His lips moved like he was trying to say something, but he didn’t make a sound. I hoped that right now, he was feeling the same way I was feeling last night.

I was surprised to find the handcuffs in his pocket; to me, they were a joke. They’re not real handcuffs, like the kind that cops carry with them. There’s a little lever on the side that I was fully capable of pressing at any point last night. I wasn’t really trapped or restrained or at his mercy, like he was when I had tied up him—if I had wanted to break free from the metal cuffs, I could have at any moment. However, it was the thought behind his gesture, and I went along with it and appreciated everything he did.

Last night... that wasn’t Kris. It wasn’t like him, and it wasn’t what I liked about him. Not that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy it, because I did; but it wasn’t him. When we had sex “his way,” as I had called it, it was like I shared something very special with him. We connected physically, like our bodies tuned themselves into the same frequency and worked together for the same, common purpose. It was about the act itself and not really about the release. “His way” was sexy and slow and emotional and deep.

When he cuffed me to the bed, he did it my way. It wasn’t emotional; it was purely physical. It was about fulfilling sexual desires and needs. Last night’s breed of sex was about the heightened sensations, the panting, the moans, and most importantly about climaxing. Simply put, sex done “my way” was about crossing the finishing line, whereas Kris’s version of making love was about running the race.

Last night’s romp in the sheets was good, don’t get me wrong... it was very, very good. I certainly enjoyed it and would love the chance to do it again sooner rather than later. But it was different than the intense and passionate way we had made love. I didn’t really understand those words make love as they applied to sex before, but now I do.

I felt Kris stir, so I looked up at his face as took more of his dick into my mouth. He murmured my name in his sleep, and it spurred me on to do more. I felt the tip of his cock hit my tonsils, and then I felt his body go rigid beneath me—instantly alerting me that he was awake. He opened his eyes and looked down at me. My lips curled up in a smile as I worked.

“Jo,” he moaned again, placing his hand at the back of my head. He didn’t apply any pressure, thank goodness; there’s nothing I hate more than when you’re trying to do something nice by engaging in oral sex, and the guy ruins it by pushing on your head and basically telling you that you’re doing it wrong.

First, I made eye contact, trying to be sexy. Then I closed my eyes and moaned, like I was enjoying this just as much as he was. He groaned from the vibrations. I felt his hand tangle in my hair and a slight tug; it wasn't hard or forceful, but it was enough to let me know he wanted me to stop. I let go and followed his lead, crawling up the bed so he could kiss me. His mouth attacked mine, forgoing the pleasantries and immediately inserting his tongue into my mouth.

I finally had to pull back to breathe. His lips found their way across my cheek to my ear, and then he whispered, “I was dreaming about you. At first, I didn't want to wake up. But I'm glad I did.”

“Me, too,” I replied, still feeling breathless. Now that he was awake, we could take this a step further. I grabbed the last condom from the box and fumbled with it until he grabbed it off me and impatiently took care of it himself. My body was still a little sore from last night—between lying on my stomach to the rougher sex—but when I guided Kris's sheathed penis into me, despite the bit of pain, it felt so good.

It wasn't long before he rolled us over, and I let him do it without a word of complaint. As he hovered over me, I lost myself in his dark, chocolate brown eyes. Kris was himself again, back to being sweet and sensitive. He kept his face close to mine in an intimate positioning of our bodies. His breath warmed my cheek as he panted heavily. I tried to stare into those eyes for as long as possible, until I had to shut my eyes and bite my lip. Then I hooked one leg around his hips and told him, “You're fucking amazing, Kris. Damn.”

“I know,” he teased, slowing his pace a little. My nerve endings were screaming for him to speed up, not slow down, but I didn't want to go too fast. I wanted this to last all day, if at all possible. I brushed his dark hair off his sweaty forehead. He looked at me again, repeating my name. It was the greatest aphrodisiac, and I finally decided to just surrender and plunge into the depths of pleasure.

It was like a reflex as I arched my back, pressing my body into his and digging my nails into his flesh. It was an automatic reaction. When I opened my eyes again, I watched as his face scrunched up and twitched, his mouth open wide. With one last grunt, he fell beside me on the bed with a beautiful, sated smile.

“Good morning,” I giggled, leaning over to kiss his button nose.

“Hmm, very good morning. What time is it?”

“Uh, almost ten,” I told him, looking over his reposing form at the bright red lights of my alarm clock. He groaned. “Why, you got somewhere better to be?”

“Better, no. But I was supposed to go back to the arena to get looked at by the doctors again. To see if I can start skating.”

“You'd better get your ass in gear then,” I sighed. I didn't really want him to go, but I knew that it was important to him—and for him—to go and get checked out.

“I don't feel like moving, let alone go anywhere,” he chuckled, pulling a pillow under his head, resting his cheek on it, and looking over at me.

“Too bad, hot stuff. You got things to do, and so do I.” I knew that if I stayed in bed, it would be harder for Kris to get up as well, so I reluctantly rolled out of bed and grabbed his wrinkled, discarded dress shirt off the floor.

He continued to tease me. “You're always stealing my clothes.”

“Maybe you shouldn't wear such comfortable clothes, then.” I buttoned up the shirt most of the way and then padded into the bathroom.

“How are you feeling?” Kris asked, having followed me into the bathroom and looking at me as I looked at myself in the mirror.

“Better than yesterday, not as good as tomorrow.” I shot him a quick smile. “If you're asking if I'll be okay for you to go, yes. I’ll be fine.”

“So, what do you have planned for today that you need to attend to this morning?”

I grabbed my brush from the back of the sink and ran it through my crazy hair, noticing the roots. “What’s your favorite color?” He looked at me with a puzzled expression. Why can’t guys ever just answer the simple questions when you ask them? “I need to do something with my hair. I’m gonna dye it again, so... what color?”

He stepped in behind me and ran a finger along my scalp, pointing to the beginnings of my natural hair color. “This one.”

I crinkled my nose. Sometimes, I wished I never dyed it, because I hated having to redo it all the time, but I wasn’t a fan of my brownish hair anyway. I’d thought about going natural again, but it would take a lot of time and effort, neither of which I really wanted to give up for the cause. “That’s too hard.” I sighed as I looked in the mirror again. “I’d have to strip the black out, and probably still have to get it colored.... It’s just too much work.”

“You could go somewhere. Get it done.”

“That takes work. Money. I’m not—”

“I’ll pay,” he said, cutting me off and shrugging.

Shaking my head furiously, I refused. I didn’t want to think about why he cared so much about it, that he would give me that option. Was he trying to change me? Did it embarrass him? Did he want me to be normal? “No fucking way.”

He reminded me, “You asked. You wanted my opinion, and I gave it to you. So don’t get all mad at me now.”

“Exactly,” I answered. “I asked for your opinion, and that was all. Not your money. And certainly not for you to tell me what to do.”

“It wasn’t telling you want to do. It was an offer... nothing more. If you don’t wanna accept it, just say so. Don’t flip out.”

“I’m not flipping out,” I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. Kris took a similar stance, his posture mocking mine as he folded his arms in front of him and leaned against the door frame. “I just....” I wasn’t sure how to explain it to him, so I didn’t bother trying. He cocked an eyebrow again, in his usual manner, as he watched and waited for me to continue. “I don’t want you to try and turn me into someone other than who I am. Just because I agreed to stop drinking, and stop smoking—”

“It is you, Jo. That’s the color of your hair. It is who you are; not pink, not black. I’m not changing you. I’m letting you be you.”

After that little speech, I couldn’t help but acquiesce. “Okay.”

“Okay, then. How about you meet me at the deli for lunch, and then we’ll go together?”

I repeated myself, “Okay.”

Kris nodded, grabbed his things and dressed, and left for his apartment. I took a quick bath as I killed time for the next two hours and tried not to think about the implications of my decision. Once again, I was struck with the same question: was I becoming the old Jo, or a new me? I didn’t know, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know.

At quarter to twelve, I headed out. Just like yesterday, it was a balmy fall day. Soon, it would be winter and we would get bombarded with snow. Days like this wouldn’t last for much longer, and it wouldn’t get nice again until late March or April. On a whim, I pulled the tarp off my bike. This would probably be the last chance I’d get to ride until spring, so I decided to take advantage of the weather.

I pulled on James’s old jacket to protect against the cool wind, and then I strapped my helmet on and started my motorcycle. She purred to life below me, so I kicked out the stand and revved the engine, pulling out into the street.

It felt great, and I knew I would miss this for the next five or six months. I slowed as I came around the bend on Brown Street, nearing the intersection with Jefferson Avenue. I knew I had the right of way and that the opposing traffic didn't, but I continued to brake because I knew that a lot of people ran that stop sign and I wanted to be safe than sorry.

The pick-up truck slowed as it approached the stop sign on Jefferson, so I shifted into third and gave it more gas as I entered the intersection. However, the truck never came to a complete stop; it rolled through the stop sign and into my lane.

At the last possible second, the driver saw me and slammed on his brakes, but it was too late. I swerved and missed him, the force of my jerky movement causing the bike to slide out from underneath me as I felt my body make contact with the concrete.


  1. OH NO. OH NO. You cannot leave us hanging like that!!!! So many different things happened in this chapter that I want to comment on but now i'm too flustered to care.

    1. i was wondering when she was going to show him her real hair color.

  2. O NO NO NO

    I want to cry right now...poor JO and Kris's biggest fear...

    great update

  3. Ugh ok...

    The whole description of the start was so accurate and perfect that it was like watching them (as pervy and sketchy as that sounds lol)

    "I’d call it a button nose; I’m not sure if that would be an accurate description, but that’s how I would label it. I kissed the tip of that nose, too."
    ^^ Awww that made me smile... so cute!

    "His breathing quickened, his chest rising and falling at an increasing rate. His lips moved like he was trying to say something, but he didn’t make a sound."
    ^^ Like that... it's just so 'real' for lack of a better word. It's like you take a situation, freeze it, and go through every possible aspect with a tiny comb; searching for the perfect way to describe something.

    I love that there is two kinds of sex... his and hers lol. It's so true but it's still funny that Jo can pick them both out like that.

    I kinda started to get worried when Jo reacted to Kris' comment about her hair. He's just trying to be honest and I think it's cute that he suggested that... most guys I know would just say some obscure, useless colour that didn't help me at all.

    Ugh... and then the cliffhanger! Ok... I hate that Jo makes a conscious effort to do the right thing...

    "I knew I had the right of way and that the opposing traffic did, but I continued to brake because I knew that a lot of people ran that stop sign and I wanted to be safe than sorry."
    ^^ The fact that she went out of her way to make sure that she did the right thing, and she still gets hurt, ain't that the bitch?

    I'm hoping that James' jacket will protect her, it's amazing what leather can do to stop road-rash...
    I'm just gonna sit here and hope for the best... I really, really can't wait till the next one.

    Fantastic writing... but now I'm very sad =(

    I honestly don't know if I can deal when Kris gets the news...

  4. Kris is going to freck!!!

  5. I knew this was going to happen eventually. I don't like it, though ;)

  6. Words can't even describe how amazing this story is. This semester has been hell for me. I seriously don't know why the hell I ever wanted to be a nurse lol Every time I see that you've updated this I get so excited.So thank you for making me days a little better! :)

    These two are perfect together. I love how Kris calms her.

    I'm so happy that she's changing her hair color. For some reason it's bothered me
    from the beginning.I guess I'm just really boring and I like things to be natural lol

  7. ahhh!!!I forgot to add what I think in regards to the ending!!!

    I hope she's ok! Poor Kris. He's going to be so upset! :( She has to be ok. I don't think I can deal with Kris losing someone else. After the way he acted when she was drugged, he isn't going to respond well to this at all.
    PLEASE update tomorrow!!

  8. : (
    So my first comment was gonna be about how happy I was that she was going to go back to natural color with her hair because I wasn't really feelin' the pink hehe


    : ( as soon as she pulled the cover of her bike..I KNEW something was going to happen.
    Kris is gonna go ape shit.
    : (

    Great update.
    I need more. Sooon.

  9. What the hell?

    Oh, God. No, no, no! This can't be happening!

  10. I can't say it any better than my fellow commenters above, so fabulous update, and ugh, she better be okay!

  11. Ughh no! I am legit terrified for the next update! I hope Jo's okay and I really hope that Kris is okay too. Because we all know how he feels about motorcycles. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he doesn't completely flip out. =/

    But before the ending, I was gonna write that I REALLY REALLY loved this chapter! It was cute and sexy at the beginning and then delved into something more meaningful towards the middle, ie: Jo's hair color. I like that Kris wants her to go to her natural color.

    “It is you, Jo. That’s the color of your hair. It is who you are; not pink, not black. I’m not changing you. I’m letting you be you."
    ^^Something about this line was impossibly sweet for me<3

  12. oh my god.
    JO WHY?!
    i know when kris finds out, he won't be mad. just scared.

    i kinda feel like he "babysits" her, but then again, he's just a caring person :]